From Cub to Lion – The Long Good-Bye

With the passing of Ted Kennedy, there has been much talk about the ‘end of an era.’ The kidd doesn’t believe this to be the case. After witnessing the funeral celebration at the JFK Memorial Library and the eulogies at the funeral mass, we learned a lot about a man who overcame adversity and atoned for character failings in his earlier years to live a long and successful life in support of the underdog. The legislative triumphs that transformed him from the Cub of Hyannis Port to the Lion of the Senate was based on his patience, perseverance and undying quest for a better world.

According to the kidd, the moral of Ted Kennedy’s life is intrinsically linked to a lifetime that fulfilled the promise and lived the dream. It was the gift of time that allowed this Kennedy to prove his mettle. So instead of closing the door to the end of an era, the kidd thinks it is more fitting if we talk about the “passing of the torch.”

“To carry Ted Kennedy’s torch is a honor,” the kidd humbly professed. “If we are to become lions in our own right, we need to live by his example. Ted Kennedy lived as long as he did to prove that the heartaches and failings of one’s youth is only one phase of one’s time here on Earth. The endurance of the long haul is what makes the man!”

What Would Jesus Twitter?

Jesus on Twitter

Have you ever thought how Jesus would communicate with his followers if he was alive today. Would he be MySpacing his apostles, befriending his Facebook buds in Galilee, or posting his travel itinerary on Tripit and LinkedIn? Kidd Millennium thinks he might follow in the footsteps of His Holiness, the Dalia Lama who purportedly registered for  a Twitter account recently under the moniker OHHDL (Office of His Holiness the Dalai Lama) with the address of http://twitter.com/OHHDL.

For those less enlightened, Twitter is a social networking and micro-blogging service that allows users to send text message updates (aka tweets) up to 140 characters long) via the Twitter website or mobile phone text messaging.Launched in August 2006, the Twitter service claims more than six million users of its service.

On February 6, 2009. explaining the 73-year-old’s decision to join the microblogging site,his first auspicious post announced: “His Holiness thought it was prudent to make his office open and assessable to a more youth and technologically advancing audience.” Another Tweet read: “I’m sure HH will be just as inquisitive about technology as he has been over the past 14 reincarnations.”

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The feed attracted nearly 20,000 followers within 48 hours of launching, under the Tibetan spiritual leader’s name.

But as karma would have it, Twitter was not meant for enlightenment. In a bold move. the top brass at Twitter suspended the account after evidence surfaced that the person behind it was an imposter and had no connection to the Nobel Peace Prize winner.”The account was suspended the following Monday, February 9 because it violated our Terms of Use regarding impersonation,” noted Twitter co-founder Biz Stone.

And while the imposter is today without a job, from all intents and purposes, he did appear to be well intentioned. Whenever he would tweet his followers, it was generally with either a link to a pertinent page on the official Dalia Lama website or a gracious thank you for whatever suggestion had been given. The person was fake but the responses were genuine and helpful.

Strangely enough, the appearance and disappearance of the OHHDL account underscored a major tenet of the Buddhist faith. One of the essential doctrines of Buddhism is “impermanence”. The word expresses the notion that everything we can experience through our senses is in flux, constantly changing, and ceasing to be—nothing is permanent. One day you are a twitterer and the next day, you are asked to leave the premises.

Other reported fake twitter accounts are numerous. Kanye West dissed Stephen Colbert last year on Twitter. Then we found out it wasn’t Kanye after all. A White House Twitter account, which had been updated during the Bush years and then switched to Obama right after the inauguration, also turned out to be bogus.

Well, Jesus, you’ve now got the facts. If, in your second coming, you want to quickly attract a mutlitude of followers in a couple of days, I suggest you join the twitterati and give Twitter a big thumbs up! However, you will not be able to claim the user name “God”, as of February 16, 2009, that handle has already been reserved by another impostor who appears to have assembled a following of 6.284 tweeps.

Flickr Tags: Dalai Lama,Twitter,Facebook,kidd millennium,Ron Callari,LinkedIn,Tripit

Did Satire Retire with Bush?

Now that George W. Bush has finally ‘coptered his way out’ of the White House, complete with malapropisms and Homer Simpson gaffes in tow, the kidd believes the satire industry will join the rest of the economy in recession. “It’s been a long 8 years of writing books, speaking engagements and interviews. And while I am physically exhausted,” noted the kidd, “I think I may have to queue up in the cartoon bread lines to find future work.”

Bush was a walking parody of himself; inclusive of his knack for being oblivious, his funny clown walk, and his scary world’s view of certitude. Some describe him as a modern day Trojan Horse. Apart from the obvious similarities of his stick-man demeanor and clueless innocuousness, it was his hollow head that was the perfect transport for the Neo-cons to sneak their way into his psyche and hijack our government!

We forget that Dubya wasn’t meant to ascend to the highest office in the land. Fate chose the wrong brother, and the US Supreme Court chose the wrong candidate! His term was bookended by two of the most momentous crises in world events: 9/11 and the recent financial debacle. He inherited a budget surplus of $128 billion in 2001 and left office, leaving all of us holding the bag for one trillion dollars in debt! One has to work damn hard to accomplish that feat! But I guess an unjustified war in Iraq was a  major assist!

“Surely the irony of feeling the need to keep Bush around for the sole purpose of satire is a little absurd?’ stated the kidd. “No, we’ve made great strides in electing the first African-American as Commander-in-Chief.  Just makes my job a little harder, you know? All I can say…is thank God Sarah Palin is not going away any time soon!”

Faithfully Yours, the Ministers of Satire,

Ron, Jon & the kidd!

The kidd’s book, Uncle Dubya’s Jihad Jamboree, chronicling the Bush Administration can be found at our website or at Amazon.com.  A second book, Crude Behavior is still papering our walls with rejection notices!

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